Spam tactics

Those of you who know me or read this blog may know of my love for the subject headings of spam e-mails. I think they're a brilliant source of unintentional humour (Canadian spelling, eh?). Some of them are so poetic and amazing ("double her portion with your new proportion!") that I almost want to buy whatever product they're selling just so they're inspired to keep plowing through whatever-to-English dictionaries and coming up with them.

Apparently their strategy works, because now legitimate craigslist apartment listers are resorting to the same tactics. While making my daily procrastination/apartment search pilgrimage to craigslist, I spotted this headline:

$950 / 1br - Apartment With Strong Mojo. Will Make You Feel More Awesome*.


Now this is obviously tongue-in-cheek: the ad is written by someone who has a fairly strong grasp of the English language, and it's actually pretty damn funny. "You will walk in, and you will be amazed at this apartment," it begins. "This apartment is no ordinary apartment. This is an extraordinary apartment for you, an extraordinary individual."

Not really that far removed from "with a giant instrument, you will feel a bigger man," or "We hae [sic] the best alarm-clocks for your small buddy down there," (both emails I've received in the past several days) now is it? The next step is claiming that this apartment will, in fact, enlarge your penis. They're already promising feeling more awesome, although it must be noted there is a disclaimer at the bottom telling us that increasing in awesome feelings may vary.